Gambit

Occasionally I do something so reckless and I don't know why.

I gambled my soul.

I could change this world.

I could take some of my own energy one morning, and sculpt it into a new shape.

An event taking up time and space.

It was my piece and my piece alone.

Its outcome would be inconsequential, it would do nothing to any world but mine.

I have been here before.

Imagining a future me doing the work my decisions demand today.

Or rebelling, and letting those dreams sink and suffocate.

Never picking up the rope that would drag them into this plane.

So I bet my soul that I would do it.

I bet my soul, the term for whatever my life essence is, the part of me that is all of me and that is all I have.

I bet it against another - I did not know exactly who but I could feel a force I did not want to lose to.

I knew what the terms of the bet where, I could feel the truth of it.

I bet my soul.

That I would do it.

I did it.

I risked my soul

So I could win it back.

I could have chosen to ignore the bet.

to let it slide and tell myself that it doesn't really matter,

that that realm is not real,

that you can't really gamble your soul.

But I don't believe that.

I know this is a bet I can't lose.

And because of that I know what is.