Creating Space

I need to make space.

Many of us are used to saying this. I need to make space for. I need to make time for. Looking at towers of tetris appointments and trying to reshape your life by squeezing another block into the wall. That half an hour of promise now sitting as the first slot in your calendar. It is how we have been raised - if it's not in your calendar its not happening.

I could never understand why this was so hard. If it wasn't in my calendar it didn't happen. If it was and happened it felt constrained, forced, like another item on the to do list. Often it was and didn't happen. The time in my calendar was filled with guilt and a sheepish promise that it would happen tomorrow.

I had one of my best every practices recently by approaching it not as an appointment, or a slot on the day, but just as something I did til it felt right. It had a start time and nothing else. There was no timer, no mediation session for 10 minutes, no deadline, no end time. I just sat down and started. It finished when it did.